One Is Silver and The Other Gold: A Friendship Narrative


I wrote this a few months ago and just found it in my drafts. It seems everytime I read my drafts, God reminds me of the same lessons He has to teach me a thousand times before I get it. Enjoy. 

I sit and have coffee with a freshman girl today, and I fall in love with her spirit and love for the Lord.
I look back at my life and know that I was not where she is when I was her age, just over two years ago.
But I am somehow thankful that the path God takes each of us on is our own.
We talk and laugh and share.
We sip coffees (or in my case water) and tell bits and pieces of our stories.
We give each other a part of our hearts in this time together, sharing bits I wouldn’t hand out to any stranger, but to a sister, instead.
And not just a biological or tribe (MC’s version of a sorority, I feel like I explain that daily.) sister.
But a sister in that she’s one of those people that just gets you in a way that you can’t work out overtime.
It’s either there or it’s not, and we find that it’s there.

And now it’s late at night, hours after I swore to my roommate that I was going to bed.
But I just can’t get this idea of friendship out of my mind.
Because it’s one I’ve been chewing on for days if not weeks.
And today was a day of focus on many friendships.
Skyping with three of my favorite people, two across the sea in Spain and one sitting next to me.
Girls that together know more about me than I know about myself.
And the old roommate who I still call roommate and probably always will no matter if we live in the same room or 8,000 miles apart.
And there’s comfortability in these relationships. The friendships that you can jump right back into after months or maybe even years of being apart and yet it seems as if not even a day has passed.

And there’s the newer friendships. The ones that come from listening to His small whispers and stepping outside of comfort zones and pouring into another’s life. The people that come into your life and you just know will be around for a while. The easy friendships.

And then there are the hard ones. The ones you’d rather avoid. The girls that I say I’d love to love, but we both know we’d rather keep the other at a distance. And sometimes it’s because we challenge each other to be better than we are willing to be. And sometimes it’s because of past hurts we’d rather not dig up. Anger we’d rather let simply go back to the deep recesses of our minds. And sometimes that’s the best way. But sometimes the thing that He calls us to do is the same thing that hurts the most.

Because He didn’t just tell us to love those that are easy to love. But to love all. To serve everyone.

Because Jesus was hurt. He went through everything we have gone through and will go through. And He is walking next to us, holding our hands as we step through the mess that our own actions have created. He cleans up the mess of our own hearts and takes all of our junk and chunks it right out the window.

And in the areas of our lives where insecurities have made a cozy little home, the areas we won’t let others into because we don’t want them to realize just how messy we are, He doesn’t cover the mess. He gets rid of it. And it’s a process, and, in most cases, it’s lifelong. But He wants to do this.

Because He wants His people to come together. He wants relationships to thrive and futures to be secured in His love.

And the friendships that we counted as over, the relationships that we just knew we had no interest in cultivating, He brings those to life. The people we’ve written out of our lives, He writes back on our hearts. And in the moment when you least expect it, He sets to work His perfect plan and allows grace and redemption to shine through the ones that love Him and are willing to allow their lives to be more than just about their own glory.



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